


Like a boy needs his mother's side

by EnergonGiraffes



Category: DMMd, DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Just sad shit, M/M, Sad, its happy and cute also thou :D, thats all i can write aprently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 00:51:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5519399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnergonGiraffes/pseuds/EnergonGiraffes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Koujaku's used to being haunted by the thoughts of his mother, but not used to someone being there to help him though those bad moments. </p><p>This is what happens when Aoba finds the best way to help make his new boyfriend just a tiny bit happier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like a boy needs his mother's side

**Author's Note:**

> Been wanting to write this forever. I suck at writing Koujak so sorry for that!
> 
> Also the title is in reference to the song Second and Sebring by D At Sea because i cant come up with titles on my own. 
> 
> A mega huge thank you to [ von_bats ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/von_bats/pseuds/von_bats)for betaing for me :33

It wasn't a common occurrence for Aoba to get off work early, but when he got the chance he'd take it. It was a Friday as well, and so as he walked to the house he'd been staying at for just a couple days he couldn't say he wasn't in a good mood. 

With a skip in his step and a smile on his face he waved to a group of Benishigure members that he'd recently been introduced to. They waved back, some greeting him by name or asking if he needed any help as he unlocked the door to Koujaku’s house. He told them that he was fine, thanked them, and then turned back to the door. He did find it odd they were huddled on the corner near the house though, since usually they only patrolled the area around Koujaku's house while he was home. And he shouldn't be home yet since he got done cutting hair a few minutes after Aoba normally got done at the shop. Aoba checked his coil’s time. He was still home early by around twenty or so minutes and his boyfriend shouldn't be home for another half an hour or so. 

He glanced around the Meticulously clean house noticing quickly that Koujaku's keys were still hung on the door which meant he was home. His brow knitting together in confusion he set his bag with Ren in it down on the couch, hung his jacket up, and actually remembered to take off his shoes and put them by the door, before going to search for his boyfriend who never missed a day of work or got home early. 

Heading to the bedroom he opened the door slowly and glanced in. He could make out in the dim light a shape in the middle of his bed that he assumed was his boyfriend, although it confused him even more. There had been times when he personally had just wanted to lay in bed all day and do nothing but he had never seen his boyfriend just curled up in bed doing nothing unless it was night time. And it was only around six. 

Not wanting to alarm Koujaku he stepped farther into the room. “Koujaku?” He tried, slow and soft as not to alarm his friend. He failed though, seeing Koujaku’s head bolt up from the bed. Aoba’s own eyes had adjusted to the dim light and he saw his boyfriend's eyes go wide as he sat up, mumbling incoherently that he wasn't supposed to be home yet. His voice was hoarse and scratchy, sounding like he hadn't spoken in hours and giving away that he probably hadn't gone to work today. Aoba wished he would have texted him that he wasn't feeling okay. He would have stayed home too. 

Aoba found himself hushing Koujaku, moving closer to the bed to sit with his boyfriend who still looked like he was in a state of shock. Now that Aoba was this close he could tell he'd been like this for quite some time. He had no shirt on and his hair -that was normally perfectly in place- was worse than Aoba's in the morning, madly sticking up in places and stuck to his face in others. 

Aoba smiled softly and leaned in to try to fix Koujaku’s hair. His boyfriend sighed, pushing into Aoba's hands as he tried in vain to straighten out his hair. Being this close he noticed shiny, dry trails on his face that his boyfriend's hair was sticking to. His brow furrowed again at the knowledge that his boyfriend had been crying, but he said nothing, knowing that Koujaku wasn't one to like talking about his feelings unless he wanted to. He knew that Koujaku would talk to him about it when he was ready. Plus he didn't want to upset him or put him on the spot even more. Instead, he licked his own thumb, rubbing it on the trails of dried old tears like granny would after he had eaten something sticky or after he had been crying for his parents when he was a child. 

It got the reaction he wanted and he giggled when his boyfriend made a disgusted noise, wiggling out Aoba's grip and then laughing, a small smile cracking his sad features if only for a second. 

Aoba watched Koujaku sigh defeatedly and lay back down on the bed, his head by Aoba’s knees and his eyes looking anywhere but Aoba’s own. “You weren't supposed to see me like this.” He said, his voice better but still shaky. It wasn't like anything Aoba had ever heard before. The usually confident and proud man's voice sounded almost beaten. But Aoba was Koujaku’s boyfriend now, so seeing all of the different sides of his personality was expected and he would be there for any of them. Even if it was hard. He wanted his boyfriend to always be happy, though he also knew that wasn't realistic all the time as much as that thought hurt him. 

Aoba shook his head softly getting up to get under the blankets with Koujaku before snuggling up close to him and grabbing one of his hands with his. They lay like that for a few minutes, Aoba finding a soothing pace to rub his thumb back and forth against Koujaku’s hand. He stretched up to place a kiss on his boyfriend's nose. “You know I'm here for you. Whatever your feelings are. You can talk to me about them if you want, or you can just stay here and we can cuddle it out.” He tried. He wasn't the best at giving people advice or making people feel better, but he wanted to try at least. 

He had pulled back a bit to look at Koujaku’s face, who was smiling slightly at him and then opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but then stopped, his face scrunching up almost painfully, before closing his mouth. Aoba smiled reassuringly, one of his hands tightening ever so slightly on his boyfriend's and his other hand brushed through his hair in what he hoped felt good. A few minutes passed, Aoba waiting patiently for his friend to find the words on his own, his hand still rubbing soft patterns into koujakus scalp and hand.

“I miss my mom.” 

Aoba almost didn't hear the words, they were said so low, but he did. Not knowing exactly what to say, he pushed his body into his boyfriend slightly more as he heard a choked back sob from him. The hand that had been holding Koujaku’s went to his back, pulling the muscular man in to him. Koujaku did the same before a sob choked out of him. Aoba had never heard his friend really cry ever, and the sounds brought red hot pinpricks of tears to his own eyes. 

Koujaku buried his nose into Aoba's hair and pulled him closer still, his body shaking. Aoba found himself feeling small and helpless, wanting to say things that would make his boyfriend feel instantly better but knowing that there was nothing that would take this hurt away. Instead he whispered exactly what he was feeling. That he wished he could make him feel better and that he cared so much was what he mumbled into Koujaku’s chest. His own voice was cracking as his hands rubbed circles into the muscled back under them, focusing on the knots of any pained and tense muscles he found. 

“I don't want to forget her voice, Aoba. I don't want to forget what she looked like. Sometimes my memories of her are blurry and I just don't want to forget her face. I can’t...” His boyfriend whispered, his jaw moving against the top of Aoba's head, his voice breaking as hot droplets hit his hair. 

Aoba found himself breaking the hug to bring his hands to his boyfriend's face, kissing away his tears as his own fell over the edges of his eyelids. He didn't know what to say and it was killing him, wanting to know exactly what to say. 

Instead Aoba kept kissing his boyfriend's face, whispering the things that came to his mind. That he wouldn't forget her. That it was okay to cry. That he would be here for him. Always. That he loved him so much and he was proud of him for talking to him about this. 

Finally, they both calmed down, their throats raw and their faces both shiny, Aoba's hair now matching his boyfriend’s. They fell asleep holding each other close, koujaku’s hands in his hair and on his back, Aoba's hands mirroring his.

 

 

 

It was a few days later and Aoba could notice already that Koujaku was getting more and more comfortable being in a relationship with him. They still hadn't told everybody about them being together (so far only a couple of Benishigure guys knew, plus Ren and Mizuki) but Koujaku was much more open with his feelings , actually telling Aoba when things got to him or when he was upset. 

Since then Aoba had decided to pretty much pack everything up from his granny’s house and bring it over to what he considered to be equally he and Koujaku’s house.

He unlocked his granny’s door and let himself him. Aoba greeted her in the kitchen, asking if she was doing fine and catching up as Ren trotted around by his feet. 

After a bit of casually catching up and munching on donuts that she had put out for him, he figured he would ask her the real question he'd come to ask.

“Granny...Would you mind if I moved out? Would you be okay?” He asked. Part of him hated that he even wanted to move out. He should stay and make sure she was always okay. And Koujaku’s house wasn't just a small walk away...it was an almost 15 minute walk-

“You didn't do that already?” She said, her town sharp but not mean. “And of course I'll be fine! I'm not that old yet!” 

Aoba had to laugh at that, and he smiled.

“And it isn't as if you'd even be that far away. I suspect that you and Koujaku will still be stopping in for dinner sometimes, yes?” 

Aoba smiled and nodded, he knew she was actually making sure they would still be coming to visit. 

“Of course! But since you're okay with everything, I'm here to pack up some stuff! And I need to get that done before it gets dark.” He said as he finished the last bite of his donut before picking up Ren and heading upstairs.

 

Being in his old room was odd to say the least. He hadn't really been there since he and Koujaku’s first night together. Since then he'd voted to just go to Koujaku’s after wor since it was closer anyway. And honestly He didn't think he'd be able to sleep on his own after that. He set Ren down on his bed and got to work.

His grabbed some boxes and bags out of his closet that he had since forever. He didn't even remember why he had the moving boxes to be honest. He put them together with duct tape from his drawer. 

He figured he'd put what he wanted into one of the bags and he could carry that back to Koujaku’s tonight and then the others he would ask if some of the Benishigure guys could go pick them up for him since he definitely wouldn't be able to carry them all the way back to Koujaku’s house.There was some good things about knowing a much of buff dudes now that he was dating their boss. He also decided on leaving some clothing for if he did have to stay at Granny's for anything. 

He put some of his better clothes in the bag and then the rest in the boxes, along with electronics, gaming consoles, and figures. 

 

 

After a while he'd finally finished the packing by carefully folding his favorite posters and putting one in his bag and the others in the boxes. He wondered if Koujaku would even let him hang a Goatbed poster in their bedroom. He smiled to himself. Thinking of that bedroom as theirs made him melt on the inside. 

He was about to leave, almost grabbing the bag, when Ren (who had been sitting on the bed but was now on the floor) spoke to get his attention.

“Aoba, I think there may be things under your bed still.” The deep voice told him before scuttling under the bed to retrieve whatever lay hidden there. He came back with a small cardboard box held by the flap in his teeth. Aoba scrunched his brow in curiosity before telling his allmate thanks and getting the box from him.

He sat down on the bed, which creaked a bit under him, and put the box in his lap. Opening it he dug through the contents. The first few things were just old things that he did want to keep but wasn't anything important. His old baby blanket, worn from age, a third grade report card, an extremely old picture he'd drawn of himself and granny, and a ticket stub from a concert. He placed all of them on the bed before going back in, now curious to see what other old stuff he would find.

Three pictures sat at the bottom of the box. The first one he pulled out made his heart flutter and he smiled. In the picture he was seated at a dinner table with Koujaku. He had to be around seven or so, as his cheeks were still chubby and red. Koujaku would have to be nine or eleven-ish then and he was all smiles as well. He looked at their surroundings and figured that they must have been in Koujaku’s mom’s house. He smiles, setting the picture down to go grab another one. 

The next one is just Koujaku and it’s out of focus and low to the ground so he must have taken it. But his friend is smiling and though his face is blurry you could tell he was happy.

He laughs to himself before setting the picture with the rest of the items and grabbing the last one in the box. His heart almost stops and his hands start to shake as he looks at the last picture. Koujaku was in the middle of a bench that Aoba remembers vaguely from their house. On one of his sides is Aoba and on the othe other is his mother. 

Koujaku’s smile is big and real. One he's been seeing more often lately. His arms are around both her and Aoba. His mother has the same smile, he notices. In the picture she's looking down, her eyes on both of them. She has such soft brown eyes. Aoba’s own hand is grabbing onto Koujaku’s at his side. His eyes are scrunched closed from how big and wide his smile is. Koujaku’s hand is squeezing his own hand back which makes Aoba's heart tighten and he stares at it. Koujakus eyes are looking at him with the same adoration that's in his mother's eyes and makes his throat tighten. 

Aoba also realizes that he had forgot just how amazing Koujaku’s mother was. She was beautiful to say the very least. Pin straight, jet black hair pulled back in a bun with what looked like the blood red pin that Koujaku uses now, in her own hair. She had a gorgeously detailed kimono on perfectly, not one piece of cloth out of place. 

Aoba instantly knows what he's going to do to cheer up his boyfriend. He runs a thumb over the picture thanking whatever gods exist before carefully pocketing the three pictures as if they were worth millions in gold. And to him, they are. 

He thanks Ren, putting the rest of the old memories into a box before closing all of the boxes and bags and grabbing the one of stuff he wants to take home. He does one last check of the room before clicking off the light, telling Tae he loves her and then bolting out of the door.

 

He checks the time after he started walking and sent a text to Koujaku, telling him he needed to stop at a store to grab something and that he'll be home within a hour. 

Two minutes later a text appeared on his coli.

‘Sounds good! I just got home, can't wait to you get back! I love you <3 - Koujaku’

He giggled at the emoticon heart before sending an ‘I love you too’ back with three emoticon heats. 

Closing his coil, he turned down the opposite street of the one toward Koujaku’s house. He knew of a shop that sometimes carried really nice gift boxes and if he could afford one, it may just be the perfect thing for the photos. 

 

The shop was an older one and old wind chimes jingle as Aoba walked into the small dark store. The strong smell of lotus incense hit his nose as if it was just part of the room now. An older man shuffled up to him from behind a counter.

“Is there anything you're looking for in particular?” The man asked and Aoba smiled kindly at him, nodding.

“I was looking for something with an old japanese feel maybe?” He tried. “Something small but big enough to fit a few pictures. It’s for my boyfriend.” He admitted. The old man smiled broadly, which surprised Aoba pleasantly and he smiled back as the man ushered him to follow.

“I think I have exactly the thing!” He explained while they went back to the section that had some old and new clasp boxes. 

Aoba followed the man, who was hunched over and using a cane. He dug through a couple boxes before he made a happy sound and turned back to Aoba with almost exactly what Aoba had explained to him. It was a tiny bit bigger than the pictures and about two inches deep. The outside was a dark, almost black wood carved with japanese symbols that Aoba didn't know but recognized from around Koujaku’s house decorations. There was gold and red paint on it that made it look royal. The boxes lid had a traditional painting of a gold and red Sakura tree with a small red robin underneath. 

It was perfect and Aoba's breath hitched but his brain hurt trying to figure out how much this thing was going to coast. He quickly decided it didn't matter and he wasn't walking out of this place without this box. 

The man lifted the boxes lid open revealing a beautiful red silk inside. Aoba’s breath caught in his chest. “How much do you want for it?” He said softly. 

“Ehh,” the old man said with a smile. “Since it's for someone you love, i'll give you a discount. Can you do 3,700 yen?” Aoba nodded quickly, thanking the man profusely as they walked to the counter. “You care about him.” The man said as he reached under the table to grab some tissue paper and a cardboard box. “I love seeing young people who actually care about each other.” He was smiling now. 

Aoba dug through his pockets, carefully grabbing the pictures, wanting to show the man and to put them into the box before he put it into the other box.

“I found these today and they'll mean a lot to him,” Aoba said, holding the pictures out. The old man eyes lit up at them and held his hands out to hold them. “His mom died a while ago and he doesn't have any pictures left of her.” He explained to the man. “She was really traditional and now so is he.” 

“Is this you and him?” The man asked pointing to the young kids in the picture. Aoba nodded happily. 

“You have been friends since childhood then?” He asked and Aoba nodded again. 

“He's my best friend” He said his voice faltering a bit as he watched the man smile and carefully place them into the box, the one of them seated together on top before he closed the box. He’d never told anyone about their relationship by himself before, and he hoped that Tae and Haga would be as approving of them. 

“This will mean so much to him. It's a very thoughtful gift.” The old older man said smiling as he filled the shiny black cardboard box with red tissue paper and then nestled the wooden box in that before putting the lid onto that and putting the whole thing into a bag.

Aoba nodded again before handing the man the money he owed. “Yeah it will.” He agreed before thanking the man and promising to come back and let him know how it went in the future. The wind chimes sang again as he exited the building. It was getting dark now so he sped up his walking, thanking himself for not putting too much heavy stuff in the bag that was even still killing his back by now. 

He sighed, adjusting it as Ren continued to trot after him. 

 

As they neared his house Aoba's heart started to beat herder. “I hope he likes it...” he said, mostly to himself.

“I’m quite sure Koujaku will be more than happy with your gift.” The deep voice below him states. That makes Aoba calm down slightly at least. 

“Thanks, Ren.” He says truthfully as they reach Koujaku’s block. He waves to some more Benishigure members, one being Kou, who he's recently become good friends with. He runs up offering to help Aoba in with his bags. Aoba found himself agreeing to the help, and handed the bigger bag to Kou who he thanked him with a smile.

Aoba quickly unlocked Koujaku’s door as Kou followed the two inside his boss's house, setting the bag down on the couch before leaning down to grab at the real reason he helped Aoba. He hugged Ren, burying his nose into his fluffy black fur. 

“Hello Kou.” Ren offers, quite used to this now. 

Kou smiles back before setting the allmate on the couch gently and shouting hello to Koujaku and goodbye to Aoba and a special pat for Ren, before skirting back out of the house, closing the door behind him. Aoba laughs at the craziest member of the Benishigure and probably his favorite. Kou is always energetic and happy. 

“Was that Kou?” Koujaku asked, coming over from the bathroom as Aoba set his bag down on the counter and went to go grab his other bag. 

“Yup!” He said, smiling at his boyfriend. “He helped me in with my bags but I think it was just so he had an excuse to pet Ren.” He said giggling, glancing at Ren who was fixing his fur like he was a cat. 

“Probably.” Koujaku said as he walked over to hug Aoba. “I’m glad you’re home.” 

“Same. My backs killing me. But Grannys okay with me staying here! And all my stuffs packed. I'll probably see if someone will help me carry them all here in the next few days. All I could carry was a bag.” Aoba said, pointing at the large bag on the couch. 

“I can get a few guys to do that. So what did you get at the store?” Koujaku asked, before sitting on the couch and pulling Aoba down next to him. He hadn't realized how much his feet had been killing him and instantly melted into his boyfriend, sighing as the pressure and work of the day melted away. He snuggled further into Koujaku’s soft kimono.

“Oh just some stuff I needed.” He lied at first. It wasn't that he didn't want Koujaku to know, but Koujaku seemed so happy and today he had to decide if he wanted to chance bringing on bad memories. “Actually….I did get you something.” He said defeatedly. If he didn't give it to him now it would eat at him for the rest of the day. He needed to see his reaction. 

“Ohh?” The larger man said, eyeing his boyfriend as he pushed himself up off the couch. Aoba walked over to the counter, grabbing the bag and pulling out the black box. 

“Yeah.” His heart started pounding. There was no way he wouldn't like the present, right? His second guessing and anxiety got to him though. what if he hated it. What if it brought back too many bad memories. He had no choice now. “I found some things while i was packing that I thought you might want. I bought part of it while I was out though.”

He put the larger bag on the floor so the couch was clear and sat down, placing the box between them. Ren came up to sit beside Aoba, and Beni came out of the bedroom to perched himself on the back of the couch in the middle, watching intently. 

He watched Koujaku’s long beautiful fingers reach out to slid the box a bit closer to him and then took the lid off of it. His eyes went wide as he looked and Aoba could see him examining every bit of it. Slowly he reached in to grab the black wooden box and with the other hand placed the cardboard on on the floor before going back to look at the box, holding it with both hands. He held it delicately as if too tough of a touch would make it fall to pieces. After a few seconds he was smiling at the box. “This is beautiful, Aoba. This is all handmade...” He breathed in, his finger ghosting over the wood, the paint, and then the top picture, his figures touching the bird for an extra second. “It's just so beautiful.” 

Aoba breathed in a sigh of relief that his boyfriend didn't find it cheesy. “I'm glad you like it. It really reminded me of you.” He said softly. “But open it up.” Koujaku looked up at him, his eyes still wide, before going to click open the clasp and opened the box slowly. 

Aoba’s breath hitched again, not blinking, as he watched his boyfriend's eyes. 

He knew the first picture was of himself and Koujaku. He saw Koujakus face light up, a small smile growing into a bigger one as he set the box on his lap and then pulled out the first picture. 

“I remember this!” He said happily. “You were so cute.” He finished.

“I'm not still?” Aoba retorted in fake anger. Koujaku laughed, setting the picture down and going back to the box. “You definitely still are cute.” He said softly. Aoba smiled.

The next picture was just the close up of koujakus face. He wasn't sure if he should have kept that one in with the others, but as his boyfriend brought up the picture now giggling he knew he made the right decision. 

“You were such a great photographer, Aoba.” He said still laughing. “Maybe you should go do it for a living.”

“Shut up, you hippo. I was a great photographer, look I got your perfect smile!” he retorted. Koujaku just smiled at him, but kept looking at the picture of his face. “Stop staring at yourself though, there's one more picture in there, you narcissist.” Aoba said through giggles. He watched Koujaku nod and put the picture of himself down with the one of both of them before he reached in for the last picture. Aoba felt like he had forgotten how to breath.

He watched koujaku’s face, saw his smile slowly fade as he realized what he was seeing. Watched as his red eyes misted over. He saw the tiny tremble of his lip. After a couple seconds he moved the box and pictures from his boyfriend's lap and onto the floor, moving closer. “I'm sorry if I brought bad memories back. I couldn't not give it to you.”

“I miss her.” He said softly. Aoba grabbed his hand. “This...I never thought- Aoba, I never thought I'd see her again.” Koujaku whispered. “This is the best thing I've ever gotten. Thank you so much. I can’t even put into words how much this means to me.” He was wrapping his arms around Aoba and dragging him onto his lap, kissing his face, then his lips before bringing his hand back to look at the picture again. 

Aoba turned around in his boyfriend’s lap to look at the picture too. They both sat looking at it together for a while, pointing out different thing they liked about the picture. That their hands were held, that Aoba’s face was sticky and he didn't remember what he had eaten but why hadn't Koujaku told him before they had taken the picture because he looked horrible, the fact that Koujaku was looking at Aoba like he was his life, how happy they all were. 

They moved on to talking about stories, memories from when they where kids, memories of his mother and how much he loved her. They talked for what felt like hours and seconds, soon Koujaku let the picture go into the box with the rest as they continued to talk. 

 

 

“It was so hard to talk about her because I was afraid to cry in front of you.” Koujaku said. “I'm not afraid of crying in front of you anymore though.” They were laying on the couch by this time, the small space forcing them to be close together and Koujaku held him tight so he didn't fall off. Beni had gone into sleep mode on top of Ren as always, and Ren had curled up where their hips joined. 

Aoba leaned up to kiss his boyfriend. “You never have to be afraid of being open around me. Plus being emotional is good for you. Holding things isn't good at all. And I'm proud of you for being able to be so open.” He said, unhooking his hand from Koujaku's to brush his hair back, he stretched up to kiss his forehead. “I love you.”

“And I think you could tell from the pictures, that I've always loved you too.” Koujaku murmured, obviously tired. Aoba felt his heart flutter at his words. 

“I've always loved you too.” He said. He burrowed his head into his boyfriend's chest but could hear him smile above him.

“I know.” He said, yawing and hugging the smaller man tighter against him. 

This was a much better way to fall asleep, Aoba thought. While he knew that he couldn't make his boyfriend happy all the time, he wanted to as much as could. He found Koujaku’s hand with his, smiling to himself. Making Koujaku happy though, was the best feeling in the world and he wanted that feeling for the rest of his life.


End file.
